Keratoconus x Support
Hey luvs!
Welcome back to another chapter of my journey with Keratoconus.
Before we dive in, if you haven’t already, be sure to check out my previous post Surprise it’s a…
Now let’s get into it. As it’s Valentine's Day it’s only right I steer this post towards the most powerful force of all… Yerp! The big L …. Say it with me “LOOOVE.”
Today, it's all about the love, not the relationship love (I’ll get to that at a later date) but this love is just as good. This support wraps around me like a warm, comforting blanket during the tough times of navigating life with Keratoconus.
Living with KC is no cake walk; it's a relentless battle that demands everything from me - mentally, emotionally, and physically. There have been moments when I felt the weight of it all, times when I questioned my own resilience. I sometimes cried so terribly hard my face hurt. Recently, I faced a new challenge – a mysterious white, cloud-like spot on my iris that clouded my vision. Panic set in, I reached out to my doctor at Bascom Palmer who told me that it needed to be checked immediately and since I still haven’t found a Caribbean doctor I can trust with my advanced delicate eyes, I flew up to Miami and saw her.
The verdict was heart-wrenching - my KC had progressed further…fast… in both eyes. I had a meltdown - obviously, but this time not in the hospital bathroom which I am proud of. Instead, I cried in the comfort of a hotel room. I began thinking about the cross-linking procedure, how painful it was once the numbing drops wore off and the cost.... Jeez! the cost.
I stopped crying after a while because of my sister, my unsung hero. It is as though she has a sixth sense when something is off. Her words of encouragement through the phone, breathed life back into my deflated spirit. Soon after, an outpouring of love and prayers from my other loved ones reached me, turning my moment of despair into a moment of gratitude. It's these moments that remind me how crucial their presence is in my life.
Keratoconus has taught me that I can't navigate this journey alone. In my younger years, I believed I could carry the burden solo, not allowing anyone to get too close. However, the unwavering support of my loved ones has been my saving grace. They lift me up, dust me off, and help me see the brighter side, even when my vision is clouded by uncertainty.
I confess, I'm a master overthinker, and my brain sometimes plays tricks on me, making me believe I'm a burden to them all; an annoying charity case, yet they didn’t see me as such, they just wanted to be there for me. I used to shut down thinking that they wouldn’t understand because they didn’t know what it was like in my shoes and to be losing one’s sight. The thing is, it wasn’t for them to be in my shoes to understand, they just wanted to be there for me. Their support has been my lifeline, a constant reminder that I am not alone. Yeah..Yeah, they in the beginning ask a lot of questions; “are there special glasses you can wear?” “What if you eat this” “Is there any medication that can grow back your cornea!” - they’re just trying to help.
Throughout my journey, I've discovered the art of silencing negative thoughts, making a conscious effort not to let them engulf me. Instead, I redirect my focus towards the positivity that surrounds me. When I seek support from others who share my condition, online support groups and connecting with fellow KCers have become a guiding light, offering a profound sense of understanding when I need to unload my thoughts. It serves as a powerful reminder that, even in the bleakest moments, there's a community willing to share the load.
Reflecting on the remarkable individuals in my life stirs deep emotions within me. I yearn for an alternative way to express the profound impact their words, prayers, laughter, assistance, guidance, time, and love have had in pulling me back from the edge. Having someone willing to hold your hands and serve as your eyes, your guiding light, epitomizes a rare and profound form of love. And you know what? I'm not just fortunate; I'm truly blessed, and luck has nothing to do with it.
The fear of an uncertain future sometimes creeps in, but in this moment, despite everything, I am happy. Not thanks to my own strength, but to a higher power and the incredible souls He's placed in my life. They quiet the storm of overthinking in my mind. I can't imagine navigating this turbulent journey without them.
I hope you have similar people in your life. At least one. As much as we may believe we can do it on our own, we all need someone.
Happy Love Day!
Until the next post Luvs! x 👋🏾💙
