Contact Lens Journey (Part II)

Keratoconus & Contact Lenses Experience (Part 2)

Welcome to part 2 of my contact lens journey. If you haven’t as yet, be sure to check the previous. Click on the link →

As I previously mentioned, when I received my first pair of Synergy lenses I was over the moon. The moment I stepped foot outside of the hospital, I saw how the world actually looked. Everything was so vivid and crisp. I felt like a kid, constantly tugging on my mother’s arm telling her everything I was able to see,

“Mum, look I can see every word on that sign,” 

“Mum, I can read the license plate number,”

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was almost as though I had just arrived on earth. Have you ever had something that brought you a substantial amount of joy? The first thing you will want to do is keep it close, and never lose, but when you do lose it you feel empty, somewhat dead inside. 

This may sound crazy, but I became addicted to the Synergy Lens because having sight gave me a lack of a better word “high” feeling. With them, the world was colorful and vibrant, but when it was time to take them out felt empty, depressed and the world became black and white. All I remembered being told was to just ensure the contacts were soaked for at least four hours preferably six. So, I did just that. I wore my contacts throughout the day for sixteen - eighteen hours every day which meant I only took them out when it was time for bed. 

Just like all highs, there is a moment when everything comes crashing down. After a few months, I began developing blood vessels which meant I couldn’t wear them for a while which made me depressed.

My life without them felt black and white. Little did I know that these were little warning signs to take it easy and slow down on life. You think I knew, but all I thought about was sticking to my success plan (complete uni within 3 years and work for one of the top three auditing firms).. Best believe I stuck to that plan, not thinking about the consequences. Not taking the disease seriously. I even skipped my annual check-up because I had an internship at my dream job. I had a choice to stick to my plan or focus on my eyes - my health. 

You may think I am a fool for doing what I did, but all I wanted was to be normal and live a normal life. I felt like I was getting all that I had planned. At that moment all I thought was “what’s the worst that could happen?!” 

I did find out what the worst was. It was my final year, first semester during finals weeks I got an infection in my right eye. Three before I went to see the doctor I knew that something was wrong, and again I was faced with a decision; I didn’t choose my health. The pain kept escalating to the point it was excruciating. Again faced with a decision go and do the exams or my eyes. You can guess what I chose. Every day, I have to live with that moment constantly replaying within my mind. 

It was December 20th, 2013, I woke up the morning and everything was white in the right eye, and I could barely see from my left eye. It had to be a dream, I thought. So, I went back into bed and closed eyes for a little and then reopened. Still nothing. The steps were repeated once more, and the results were the same. I got up from the bed to take a look in the mirror and I couldn’t make out myself - not facial features. My best friend told me that my eye was blud shot red and glossy like marble. All I was able to do was have a breakdown.

Fast forward, after the treatments, I was told that my sight in my right eye wasn’t going to improved and it progressed the disease further. All it took was two days for the infection to do the damage. The doctor at the hospital said these words to me;

“If you don’t start taking this disease seriously, you’re going to lose your sight. There is nothing more important than your health… you did this to yourself because you could’ve gotten treatment earlier, but you neglected your sight for what... your courses... really?!”

That broke my heart - that moment, knowing that I did that to myself for what?! A degree to prove that I was good enough? 

Well, I got my degree - then I got my dream job. Everything I planned for, but it came at a cost. The funny thing was after my treatment I avoided mirrors, then I found only one apartment closer to everything, and what did it have? Mirrors. A shitload of them. They were constant reminders of that stupid mistake I made. 

The doctors were able to fit the right eye with a lens but it didn’t bring my sight, because the scar was in the center of the cornea. Over time things got harder. The contacts kept ripping or blood vessels would reappear and my right just felt weaker, always looked swollen. I became more depressed. I would go to work, get back home, and have a breakdown. Throw things on the floor, break objects, and cry myself to sleep. 

I felt like I wasn’t catching a break. Every month was a problem and there was nothing I could do. I could no longer afford to go overseas often, so I settle for a local doctor (Doctor #6). He tried, but most of the time we just sat in the office and stared at each other. Clueless, he didn’t know what to tell me. Oh, he constantly recommended surgery. I was contemplating it until during a visit I overheard him discussing a patient whose stitching rip and had to do emergency surgery. I was like nope! Not me!

Then he hired a contact lens specialist (doctor #7) who recommended scleral lenses to me. It felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. She took a look at my eye and we did a fitting for the new lenses. It felt great!

Two months of wearing them, one morning when I inserted the contacts into my left eye, there was this strange wave-like thing happening within the lenses. I took out rinsed it with Unisol and inserted it again, same weird wave thing.  I kept repeating it about 6 more times. Then I got frustrated and felt like I was going to have another breakdown. I took a couple of deep breathes and went to see the doctor. 

I got to the front desk and asked to see doctor #7, and they informed me that she left. I begged them to tell me what company she worked for because I needed her, and she told me she would be there for me. Pleaded and pleaded, they couldn’t tell me. It’s a good thing the doctor’s assistant was fond of me ( I was fond of him as well). He went on to tell that she left the country. At that point I didn’t care if I had to fly across the sea to see her, I needed her. No one there was able to help me figure out what the problem was. 

I felt lost and helpless. All doctor #6 said is that I can buy a new one. I was drained, and over with my life. Every time I felt happy, it was as though something would be like “nop Shakeila can not be happy, let’s fuck it up.” I hopped into the taxi, went back to my apartment, and did what I knew best...cry. I popped my lenses out and went back to bed. 

An hour later, I tried researching on google for possible answers but all dead ends. It was time to carefully think about what could have caused that. I narrowed down everything and couldn’t come up with squat. I gave the lens a long clean with the Bauch and Lomb cleanser and then stored it back. A got a text from the hot assistant with doctor #6 e-mail old e-mail address. As quickly as possible I e-mailed her. 

A heavy was lifted off of me and I felt lighter. After six hours of being re-cleaned and re-soaked, I inserted the lenses once more and it was all good. If there’s debris trapped in the bowl of the lenses, when you place the saline into it then insert it, it causes a wave-like action. It’s not a bubble, and it’s a bit more uncomfortable than a bubble. All you have to do is give it a clean not with saline alone. You need to use something that cleans the lens ( Bausch and Lomb cleanser or their Simplus multi-action”  then rinse it properly - properly!

So, did I ever heard back from doctor #6, yeah the next day, confirming that she was in another country working for another doctor and told me that she will send me their contact information, but she never did. I reached out a few times, and I’m still waiting for the response (it’s been about 4+ years). It’s obvious she cares that much she refuses to help. 

Up Next: “Contact lens Journey III”

Stay safe Luvs! x